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I've been thinking a lot this weekend about life 1 year ago (thanks Timehop). ⠀
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We had just announced our pregnancy (and hilariously failed at it...see my insta story) and to be honest, things weren't going well at home.⠀
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I felt terrible which caused me to be short tempered with my kids and ragey at my husband. My husband, who wasn't super keen on the idea of a 3rd kid in the 1st place was ragey right back at me. He couldn't understand what had happened to his wife. ⠀
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Going to the gym was hard because my body felt different and I wanted to dry heave the entire time I was there. I couldn't maintain my workouts the way I had been doing them just a few weeks prior when I saw the + on a pregnancy test. ⠀
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But what was the alternative? ⠀
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There was no strength training program for pregnancy. ⠀
No one was programming workouts for the kind of woman who loves barbells, burpees, and intensity...The kind of thing I was regularly getting in a Crossfit gym before. ⠀
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So there I was, grouchy AF, sick AF, and without the thing I normally did on a daily basis to feel like myself. ⠀
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Again.... hard to think about because I go right back to knowing exactly what all of that felt like in my body. 🤢⠀
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My survival of that chapter of my life depended on me getting some sort of workout in. So I was forced to start putting together appropriate workouts for my body in order to save my sanity. ⠀
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My kids needed me to do it. ⠀
My husband needed me to do. ⠀
Most importantly.... I needed me to do it in order to feel like ME. ⠀
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That's how #ThePregnantAthlete started. It evolved to something to share with other women after a conversation with @brianna.battles where we agreed that a product like this needed to exist. ⠀
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"Hey Bri... I already kinda have a start on it, want tomake an entire program together?" I asked over text one day. ⠀
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The rest is history. ⠀
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Workouts like the ones in #ThePregnantAthlete are what kept me going in those hard days, they are what I wished I would have had in my first 2 pregnancies. ⠀
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Those workouts (along with my 8 week postpartum program) are on sale until the end of the day TODAY. Grab all the details with the link in my bio.

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I married a man who will never ask me to run a turkey trot with him and for that I am forever grateful. Happy Thanksgiving!! #dontputmedownforcardio

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5.5 month postpartum update- I am getting there.
I think Instagram gives the perception that some women have their shit together more than you do.

You know that 👆is bullshit though right?
Here's the truth about how I'm progressing at this stage of postpartum.
Earlier this summer I completed my 8 week postpartum fitness program. I started by introducing rehab type movements and gradually progressed back to a barbell and a little bit of intensity. It was perfect for that early stage.
I wish I could tell you that upon completion of that I was ready to rock at my pre-pregnancy fitness levels and everything was super easy, but that's not the case.
I've returned to the gym, to my community of friends, but I still have to modify a LOT. • Impact activities i.e. jump rope & box jumps are still a no for me. •Running in short distances is ok
•I lift regularly, but at a lower load than I did pre-pregnancy, •Certain things like front squats light up my back so I omit them for now.
•I'm supposed to spend 5 minutes a day on core strengthening, I remember to do this about half the time.
I am fortunate to have a team of providers who understand where my body is at, in both its strength and it's limitations. I check in with them regularly for care and they help keep me realistic in what my body is capable of right now. (Side note, if you're in DSM check out @breathedsm and @dsmspinesport )

My weight... it's a few lbs heavier than it was pre-pregnancy, which to me is not a great indicator of anything. It's just a number, whether I gain or lose more my friendships and marriage are the same. My children think I'm the coolest either way.
I'm not counting my macros or placing tight limits on my nutrition because I have 3 little kids and I don't sleep much. I don't need another thing to manage at this point. I am however trying to be mindful of my nutrition choices. I *try* to keep my indulgences to 1 small thing a day which is a change from the 3 cookies a day of early postpartum 🤷🏼‍♀️ It's not always easy to be patient, but what's the alternative? Hate myself until I "arrive" where I want to be? No thanks to that. It takes time, but I’m getting there.

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Girlfriend moved into her own room last week. ⠀
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And I cried about it because #lastbaby⠀
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I will never bring another baby home from the hospital. ⠀
I will never have a bassinet by the side of my bed again ⠀
I will never fall asleep to the sounds of one of my newborns grunting and squeaking. ⠀
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And that’s what I want for my life. I'm 100% out of the baby making business (thank you vasectomies), but it’s also a really really emotional experience. ⠀
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Knowing that I'm never going to snuggle her in on my chest in my bed in the middle of the night again makes me sob like I've just experienced a death. (We'll still snuggle, just in her room). ⠀
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There have been so many nights of pure exhaustion. Being woken by her cries In the middle of the night left me to scream internally "Noooooo. F*ck I’m tired, why can’t you just sleep baby!?" ⠀
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But then I would pull her from her bassinet into my bed. I would nurse her and then hold her on my chest. Despite the fact that she was fast asleep I let her linger there for 5 or 10 more minutes while I took her in.⠀
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I wasn’t sleeping I was just laying there. ⠀
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In the dark of night, house quiet, simply holding my baby. Knowing that these nights could both feel so long and be over before I would know it. Though it doesn't always feel like it there does come a day when they sleep alone in their rooms for 10-12 hours at a time. ⠀
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Each night I would pray that this would be the only night waking she’d have because I so desperately needed the sleep. At the same time I had to will myself to peel her off my chest and place her back in her bed. ⠀
Motherhood is honestly so weird, but I'm so happy to be able to experience it. ⠀
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Are babies magical? Yes⠀
Are babies hard? Also yes. ⠀
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But as it turns out I'm learning to experience both of those things on a daily basis. I'm even kinda learning to roll with it which is pretty convenient timing considering I'm never going to do this again. 😂🤷#slowlearner

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I'm trying to be productive today, but it's not going well. There is deep sadness that gets me from time to time and its got it hold on me thick today. ⠀
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13 years ago was the worst day of my life. ⠀
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This guy, Josh, my fiance left on a work trip and didn't return. His plane crashed in an Indiana cornfield and the course of my life was forever altered. ⠀
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My feelings about him are confusing. It's been 13 years, I'm bad at math but I think its more than 1/3 of my life that he has been dead. Yet my soul feels him like we just spoke yesterday. ⠀
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Those first few days, weeks, and years I wanted to turn back time and lock him in our house that fateful morning so he wouldn't leave. I constantly played the what if game? What if he had gotten food poisoning that morning maybe this wouldn't have happened. What if he hadn't taken that job? Maybe he's still be here. ⠀
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As time went on my acceptance of his death finally came. I rarely play out those scenarios any longer because I can accept that I did not have control of that situation. ⠀
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Today, 13 years later, my life is beautiful and I am ok. Which makes me happy and also sad. I think that is something you can only understand if you've lost a partner in life. ⠀
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When I look back at those early years it feels like I literally clawed my way out of a fiery hell and simply refused to die. I tenaciously pursued life because I still had it. To anyone currently experiencing this kind of loss, keep clawing because IT. GETS. BETTER.⠀
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Josh's death was horrific, but it showed me that I am resilient. If I survived that I can probably survive anything. ⠀
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The loss gave me an appreciation for life that I don't know I could have gotten any other way. There are these moments where I'm so aware at how precious all of this is, that it could be gone in an instant. It allows me to love differently, marvel in things like sunsets and children's giggles in a way I'm not sure I would be able to do otherwise and that is a gift.
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I miss him. I also love my life now. Those things are conflicting and confusing but the older I get the more I'm learning to make space for both. ⠀
Josh, I still miss you and I'll see you on the other side.

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My favorite glute exercises coming at ya today. 🍑
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If I’m headed out to my garage gym chances are 100% that I’ll be hitting glutes. #sorrynotsorry⠀
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Yes I love a big strong butt but that’s not the only reason I prioritize glutes. Strong glutes are extremely helpful in keeping the body feeling well and injury free. For me personally glute training has helped a ton with that fun low back pain I’ve had since having kids. ⠀
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Other reasons to train glutes: ⠀
✅ Strong glutes help support the function of the pelvic floor⠀
✅ In pregnancy strong glutes will help stabilize the pelvis and ward off some of the aches and pains ⠀
✅ Strong glutes make it easier to jump higher, run faster, and live an active lifestyle pain free. ⠀
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In the very near future I’ll be putting out a program of glute finishers you can add to the end of your workouts but the ones I’m sharing with you today are a great place to start! ⠀
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Swipe right to see versions of: ⠀
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1. Hip thrusts ⠀
2. Split squats⠀
2. Mini band exercises ⠀
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Let me know in the comments which glute exercises are your fav. I’m always looking to build my library of go tos.

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It's been 5 months with our sweet baby Liv. ⠀
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Awhile back I told you her birth story (see my IGTV) which included a pretty incredible care team at Lutheran Hospital here in Des Moines. You don't get to pick your nurse in the same way that you pick your OB or midwife so I'm well aware I hit the jackpot with nurse Andrea. ⠀
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As I think back about the day Liv was born I feel so much gratitude to her, she will forever be a part of Liv's birth story. ⠀
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When we first met she assured me that she was going to be cool (I legit asked her that) and proved herself by squeezing my hips through horrid contractions, making me laugh and finally looking at my baby like she was magic. ⠀
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Special shoutout to @annajon.es who captured this image a few short minutes after Liv's arrival. (Fun fact I text her at 4 pm and said I'm going to have the baby soon, want to come take some pictures? She said sure, showed up at 4:55, Liv was born at 5:02 and she left by 5:20). ⠀
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Here we are now.... 5 months later, tired, frazzled, but loving up on this little girl at every chance we get and doing anything and everything to get sweet baby laughs out of her.⠀
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Liv... you were worth every moment of morning sickness I had. I'm ALMOST over the fact that my pregnancy with you caused me to have an allergic reaction to eyelash extensions and I'll probably never be able to wear them again (still kinda salty about that tho).

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I got my ass handed to me at the gym earlier this week. ⠀
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Like legit, last one to finish a workout, thought I might die afterwards. Apparently adding a little bit of cardio at the top of a workout makes my body want to freak out. ⠀
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Truth time: Finishing last pissed me off. ⠀
Modifying 2 of the 3 exercises to match what my body needed that day made me grouchy. ⠀
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My ego.... or my athlete brain as @brianna.battles calls it, wants to steer the ship. It's my job to quiet the voice that screams "Move faster, lift heavier" and quieting that voice is 100% the hardest part of this postpartum journey. ⠀
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I've done this whole postpartum thing 2 other times so I know this season of hard is temporary. ⠀
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My back will hurt less as my core gets stronger⠀
After I finish nursing putting on muscle gets easier⠀
When I sleep 7-8 hours a night again exercising regularly is far less challenging. ⠀
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So yeah.... it gets easier, but between now in then there are bound to be some days that are really freaking irritating and I guess that is ok too.⠀
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If you're finding yourself preparing for this season, make sure you're preparing your mind as much as your body. A postpartum fitness plan is great (I have one for you), but make sure you're surrounding yourself with people who can acknowledge what a mindfuck this can be and will encourage you through it. @pregnant.postpartum.athlete is a great page to follow to get this kind of encouragement. ⠀
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What about you? Hows that voice inside of your head treating you during your postpartum experience?

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One minute you're 3 days past your due date scrambling to shoot ALL THE VIIDEOS you need for a pregnancy workout program and then next thing you know you're feeding avocado to a 4.5 month old. ⠀
A 3rd kid.... highly recommend 😂 She is something pretty special.

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